Separation anxiety in children aged 1-3 years

Separation anxiety in children aged 1-3 years: Peak and gradual fading

Separation anxiety, which first appears in infants at 8-10 months, can reach its second and often more intense peak at 15-18 months. A child who can already walk may literally follow the mother on tiptoes, cry when trying to leave her in the room, and stage dramatic farewell scenes. This is still an absolutely normal stage of emotional development, indicating deep and reliable attachment of the child to their parents. However, this period requires huge patience and understanding from parents.

Why does anxiety increase?

At this age the child faces a complex internal conflict. On one hand, they have a huge desire for independence and exploring the world. On the other, they realize that the world can be dangerous, and mother is their "reliable base" from which it is scary to depart. This conflict between the desire to explore and the need for safety triggers increased anxiety.

Factors that can intensify separation anxiety:

• Stressful events: Starting daycare, moving, birth of a younger sibling, illness — all increase the child's need for safety and contact with mother.
• Fatigue or illness: When the child feels unwell, their need for parental support grows.
• Parental reaction: If parents themselves are anxious, say goodbye for a long time, or try to leave unnoticed, it can heighten the child's fear.

How to help the child (and yourself)?

The key to overcoming this stage is patience and creating predictability. Always say goodbye to the child, creating a short and positive ritual (e.g., "kiss on the palm"), and reassure them that you will return. Playing "peek-a-boo" and hide-and-seek helps the child practically learn that disappearance is not permanent. This stage is important for behavioral development and lays the foundation for confidence in oneself and the world. Read more about this condition in the article "Anxiety through separation".